Donald Trump Should Be President Of Iceland

No thinking person could support Trump being the President of the United States–excluding extreme cynics or apocalyptic day-dreamers.  The United States needs a President that can handle the international relations of a major country with huge economic and military interests.

Donald Trump would be better suited being the President of a country without a military, a fabricated international identity and an economy based entirely on foreign workers building hotels and on celebrity shout-outs.

Sound familiar?

The Donald has a lot in common with Iceland. He loves his own versions of reality tv shows. He goes out of his way to hide his racist past. He relies on foreign labour to build his empire while simultaneously begrudging their existence and importance. He wears suits, often, and has a distinctive hair style. His bad thinking has caused the financial collapse of several major projects. He can’t handle criticism…

Interestingly, the good–or less bad–aspects of The Donald are also relatable. He’s a populist candidate who professes a desire to raise taxes on the wealthiest corporations and strengthen the buying power of the middle class. He’s a narcissist, opportunist, flip-flopper, which appears to be a requirement in Iceland to be elected into office. He’s an outsider who seems like an extreme version of an insider (kind of like Iceland’s place in Scandinavia). He even has a viking name: Donald “The Short-Fingered.”

This current election cycle in the United States gives us a great opportunity. I watch that beetle-eyed, potato sack covered in smink delivering his non-sensical, non-sequiturs to a crowd of red-faced, cholesterol filled land mammals and I…I do just that. I start an insulting rant, insulting both Trump and his supporters. I distance them. I dehumanize him. I feel justified in how different I am than him, but I’m not, we all relate to him a little bit and that’s ok. He just shouldn’t be President of anywhere or anything, ever.

The modern obsession with media savviness and televised debate has led the way for demagogues and morons, accomplishing nothing. The idealogical cult of “relatable” and “likeable” has created an assembly line of disingenuous politicians. The elite pretending to be the non-elite. The wolf in sheep’s clothing. We all have a bit of Trump in us, but it shouldn’t be more than a couple of fingers, a couple of short fingers–just don’t use them in Kaffibarinn’s community peanut bowl.