Finding Love Fast

Bíó Paradís’s speed dating events offer something new for local singles

“If you had called me yesterday, I couldn’t have done it. If you had called me tomorrow, I couldn’t have done it,” Cezary told me as we walked up to Bíó Paradís. We’re here — well, more accurately, he’s here — for a night of speed dating.
“This is not about swiping, not about judging, not about googling the hell out of people.”

This is the second speed dating event that Bíó Paradís has put on. Coupled with a movie screening, the participants watch a film and then proceed to a whirlwind of five-minute dates with their fellow movie-goers. With these match-making events, Bíó Paradís Program Director Ása Baldursdóttir tells me they are “kicking dating culture on its butt.”

Beloved for its diverse film offerings and resistance to the mainstream, the cinema aims to be intentional about accessibility and inclusion. One effort has been their Wednesday matinee screenings, aimed at elderly residents. From there, the first speed dating event was held for elderly cinephiles after one of these screenings. When they received positive feedback from participants in this event, they decided to continue and broaden to different age groups. Ása underscored just how welcome daters of foreign origin are and hinted that a queer speed dating night is on the horizon.

“This is not about swiping, not about judging, not about googling the hell out of people,” Ása identifies, offering a fair evaluation of today’s dating landscape.

We were curious about how these events go — not just in theory, but in practice. But it turns out everyone at Grapevine HQ is already coupled up. So, I reached out to my old coworker, Cezary, and convinced him to take part. Like a proud parent sending a kid off to their first day of preschool, I led him into the foyer of Bíó Paradís, wished him well and left him to fend for himself.

So, how’d it go?!

“So, firstly, I totally enjoyed it,” he tells me. Cezary is a bartender, Polish and has lived in Iceland for two years. It was his first time speed dating and the same was true for everyone he spoke to. As it was everyone’s first experience, they all had to grapple with just how short five minutes is. “I think in this formula you need to skip a lot of things,” he says from the experience. “It’s about making the first impression.”
“I think there’s quite a lot of opportunity, if you just go out.”

“I talked with somebody that it would be much more fun if there were more foreigners involved,” he tells me, after letting me know he was the only non-Icelandic person in the room. “I ended up with a lot of the same questions, like, ‘How long are you here? How do you like it? What brought you here?’ So, that’s three minutes out of five.”

Cezary says he believes these sorts of questions only come from well-intentioned curiosity, but it’s fair to note that the dating landscape looks different for foreign-born residents and those born and raised in Iceland. The latter has a leg up, being a bit more familiar with their pond, while foreign-born singletons are faced with three stereotypical options: meeting someone out downtown, meeting someone at work, or “the apps.”

Though I’ve heard many lament this lack of options, Cezary is not one of them. “I’ve heard people say that it’s good that [speed dating] is happening because there are not many opportunities to meet people. But I think there’s quite a lot of opportunity, if you just go out” he says with a laugh.

Practice makes perfect

As we talk, Cezary shares thoughts on his speed dating experience that often blur with thoughts on the dating scene in general. He offers advice, advocating for leaving one’s comfort zone. He points out that many are timid, choosing to say nothing for fear of rejection. He offers a counterpoint: “If you just flirt with your surroundings, you get better and better. Then when you meet the person you really like, your odds are better.” He thinks these speed dating sessions are the perfect place to practice, as it’s a safe environment to try to leave your comfort zone. “It might be uncomfortable, but it’s also just five minutes.”

Overall, Cezary enjoyed trying something new. “There is something refreshing about it, compared to regular ways of meeting new people, like talking to people at the bars,” he explains. “I did like it. I would go again. Like, why not!”

Bíó Paradís takes registrations at stefnumot@bioparadis.is for upcoming events, but slots are limited! You can hear more about Bíó Paradís’ upcoming events on their Instagram and Facebook. If you have opinions on love and dating in Reykjavík, email ish@grapevine.is, who would love to hear them.