Opinion: Nazis Are Funny At First

It’s not nice to make fun of Nazis. As they walk down Laugavegur two-by-two, ten in all. They are people too. “Iceland’s Shield,” they call themselves. Perhaps “Iceland’s Swords” narrowly lost out. They are here to protect us from the immigrants and the Muslims. They had a steak dinner first, they tell us, before they head out to their unofficial duty, keeping an eye on those darker of skin.

Of particular concern are those who drive taxis and profess the Islamic faith. Cheaters one and all, they say. Rapists some. There is even a “Taxý Hönter,” who relays information about those who look like they can’t be trusted. “Iceland’s Shield” will soon be on the case.

They are not afraid to be called alt-right or racist. Why would anyone do such a thing? Is it because of the crusader crosses on their black sweaters? A symbol much beloved of Anders Breivik, who killed 77 social-democratic teenagers 13 years ago to keep Norway pure. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

Yes, some here have done time. One robbed a Danish bank with a sawed-off shotgun. Another hit a man on the head with a baseball bat while his friend cut the man’s middle finger off with garden pruners. But of course, you should never judge a whole group by the actions of a few. Right? Right?

“Any talk of racism, Nazism, nationalism and connecting our logo, font and the name of the group is a silly attempt to humiliate us (sic),” they say. So they knew… Perhaps a full-blown swastika narrowly lost out?

It’s not nice to make fun of Nazis. Single men walking two-by-two. Here to protect Icelandic values and Icelandic women, they say. Values like equality, democracy, tolerance? What other values are there?

It’s just your friendly neighbourhood vigilantes, quietly keeping watch. The way parents take turns watching over kids. They care a great deal about kids, as well as those slightly larger children known as women who need constant surveillance. Surely, each and every woman dreams of being followed late at night by a man in a black sweater marked with a cross, prior convictions and all.

It’s not nice to make fun of Nazis, but one can hardly help it. Self-professed Ubermensch who rarely look the part. Wannabe Vikings afraid of anything unfamiliar. Pretend police watched over by police.

Yes, they are comical the first time you see them, until you start seeing them again and again. Nazis are funny, until they are not.