Tourists Cut Lamb’s Throat

Yesterday, police in east Iceland charged a group of nine tourists with stealing and killing a lamb, reports RÚV.

Locals watched as the tourists chased down the lamb and called the police. When police arrived, the people initially tried to hide the lamb, but then claimed to have been relieving it of its suffering.

Björgvin Gunnarsson, a farmer in Berufjörður and the owner of the lamb, says that he was at a dinner party when his daughter called to inform him of tourists chasing a lamb. He arrived at the scene with the police shortly afterwards. The group maintained their innocence until the officer searched their vehicle, where he found the animal.

“They started out by lying, claiming they had just been taking pictures and didn’t want to admit anything,” Björgvin said. “It was harrowing seeing the lamb with its throat cut inside of a black plastic bag.”

Meow, things are expensive

We can only assume that the tourists were very hungry and couldn’t afford to buy the overpriced Icelandic food. The problem with hunting and killing sheep, however, is that you need to be in the countryside to find them. So, if you are in Reykjavík there is a better alternative—cats.

Cats are everywhere in Reykjavík, there are up to 20,000 cats in the capital. That’s a lot of easy meals. There are also more benefits to eating cats rather than sheep.

First, they are less valuable, so the police are less likely to kick up a fuss about a dead cat than a lamb–just remember to dispose of the microchip. Second, they are smaller than sheep and, therefore, easier to lug around. Third, they are actually surprisingly easy to cook.

You just heat oil in a large frying pan with a lid and brown the cat for 5-8 mins until golden. Then remove and set aside. Tip in onions and cook for 3-4 mins until soft. Then add pepper, garlic, chorizo and Cajun seasoning, and cook for 5 more minutes. Stir the cat back in with the rice, add tomatoes and stock. Cover and simmer for 20-25 mins until the rice is tender.

Update: the writer of this article was cooked for 5-8 minutes and eaten by his colleagues at the Grapevine for inciting violence against cats.