Swear Like An Icelander: “Eat Frozen Sh*t!” Teaches You Everything You Actually Need To Know

They say you’re not truly fluent in a foreign language until you crack a joke. Rubbish. You’re fluent when you can curse — when you’re standing at the bus stop, one minute early, but see the sight of your Strætó driving away and all you do is blurt out, “DJÖFULINN! Ég missti af helvítis strætónum!”

Swear words and curses don’t usually make it into the curriculum of a language course, but they’re very much part of a living language — and a way to feel like you fit in a group (at least a bit). Until recently, there was nothing out there to help Icelandic learners talk proper trash. Then writer and critic Brynja Hjálmsdóttir had an idea.

Photo by Art Bicnick

Fokk and other essentials

“This could have been something that could have been left as an idea and never executed. But I had some free time, and decided to go ahead, and it was a very fun process,” says Brynja as I meet up with her and the illustrator of the Eat Frozen Sh*t! How to curse, swear, and talk trash in Icelandic, Elín Elísabet Einarsdóttir.

Brynja is a poet, writer, and critic, with a couple of published books to her name, including the most recent novel Friðsemd and poetry books Okfruman and Kona lítur við.  Since childhood, she has been fascinated by every aspect of language and has always been drawn to dictionaries. “If I find myself thinking about a dictionary, I will always go straight to the gutter — straight to something of colour, words or phrases. [Eat Frozen Sh*t!] was meant to save people the hassle,” she says.

The idea of the book goes back to when Brynja was working in a bookstore. “I worked at Eymundsson on Skólavörðustígur for a while, so I have a pretty good idea about what is available about the Icelandic language, and I knew that there was nothing like this,” Brynja says, adding, “It’s not necessarily a new idea. Phrase books like this and slang dictionaries exist in many languages, but I knew they didn’t exist in Icelandic. I thought it might be something that people would be interested in having, both guests and tourists to take as a gift, and, of course, people who are learning Icelandic, both here in Iceland and everywhere in the world, because people are interested in this strange language.”

“We decided to have this no-nonsense, basic phrase chapter for beginners — [so you know how] to order a coffee and say hello before you start insulting someone.”

Even though the book’s title makes it clear you’re up to no good, Eat Frozen Sh*t! is more than just a book about swear words. It starts with an extended guide to pronouncing Icelandic letters, followed by useful everyday phrases — the very basics, from thank you to how to say hello at different times of the day. “We wanted to think of a broad audience, both people that are beginners and those that are further along, so we decided to have this no-nonsense, basic phrase chapter for beginners — [so you know how] to order a coffee and say hello before you start insulting someone,” says Brynja.

“Swearing and using foul language is an important part of expression if you need to let off steam, or if you need to emphasise things very vividly,” she continues, pointing out that while the book is all about teaching you to curse, it’s mostly meant for fun. “If people really want to get down and dirty, they would just have to do that themselves,” she laughs. Elín chimes, “It’s not meant to be used for evil.”

Illustrated insults

The Basics of Swearing & Slang chapter in the book is divided into convenient subchapters that will allow everyone to find exactly what they’re looking for — from the three absolute essentials of “djöfull,” “andskoti,” “helvíti,” to expressing general frustration and cussing like a child or a grandpa.

Brynja says she first wanted to compartmentalise all the knowledge she already had on the topic, and then added swear words she picked up from family and friends. “It is organised into insults and swear words, then it’s sex and relationships, party culture, drugs and alcohol, and then the final chapter is sort of just these sentences and phrases, insults that you can grab and use on the go,” she explains.

There was only one phrase that Brynja thought was too strong for this kind of book, but otherwise, the spectrum of curse words is pretty vivid. The drawings, though, faced heavier censorship.

“It was also a bit of a question with the drawings, how far to go?” says Elín. “There are so many things in there that I can picture very vividly in my head that maybe wouldn’t work for everyone flipping through a book at the bookstore, you know,” she smiles, adding, “A good way around it was including the puffins.”

In the chapter on flirting and sexy phrases, there’s even an illustration of two puffins mid-act. Elín, who a few years back created a project called Nýlundabúðin, in short, a puffin hotel, is well-acquainted with her subjects.

“Puffins are a big part of every project I make, apparently,” she laughs. “They always deserve a spotlight. I feel like they get a bad reputation because of mass tourism and mass souvenirs. But they are actually just a bird trying to survive.”

“There are so many things in there that I can picture very vividly in my head that maybe wouldn’t work for everyone flipping through a book at the bookstore.”

The illustrations for this book came together pretty easily, Elín admits. Many of the images are quite literal; for example, the phrase in the title of the book, “Éttu það sem úti frýs” (“Eat the stuff that freezes outside”), is depicted as frozen shit served on a plate. “Some books almost illustrate themselves,” says Elín, pointing to one of her favourite illustrations in the book — a drawing of a happy family with a monkey, a donkey, and a cow, paired with a text teaching you how to say “go fuck your mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, a monkey, a donkey, and a cow.”

“It’s a perfect example of how text and image work together,” smiles Elín.

There was one word Elín didn’t quite know how to illustrate: “beygla,” the Icelandic word for a bagel — and, in this case, a DIY bong made from a plastic bottle. Elín, who at the time was in Austria, asked Brynja for clarification and received a video explaining exactly how to make one. recorded somewhere in a countryside cabin.

Say it like a local

The book also comes with a helpful audio guide, narrated by what the description calls “foul-mouthed Icelander.”

Brynja explains, “We got one of our favourite actors and playwrights to read, and he did the perfect performance.”

“He’s one of the most inherently funny people in the country,” adds Elín.

They’re speaking about Friðgeir Einarsson, a member of the Kriðpleir acting troupe and a regular in Áramótaskaup. Friðgeir and his troupe are known for their style, as Brynja explains, “They have this deadpan delivery of everyday situations, and sort of make fun of the normal, boring Icelander.”

Brynja recalls that Friðgeir voiced the book with a completely serious face. “He pulled through without laughing, while the rest of the people in the booth were just falling.”

“It’s not meant to be used for evil.”

“This is both for people’s enjoyment to listen to his performance of all this shit, and then it also works as a pronunciation guide for learners,” Brynja smiles.

In the end of the book, you’ll find “the insult express” — a guide to quick and easy phrases for every situation — from stuff like “Are you fucking kidding me?” to “Shut up you racist bitch,” as well as a chapter dedicated to words and sayings that are “strictly Icelandic” — words like “kviðmágur / kviðmágkona” to describe a person who has slept with the same person as you.

“The last two chapters or something were perhaps the most creative and fun part,” says Brynja. “The ‘Strictly Icelandic’ chapter has phrases that sort of transcend the basic translation, something that’s specifically Icelandic and requires longer explanations of cultural context.”

Most words and phrases in the book are something you will hear in daily life. The few that aren’t, Brynja usually marks as such.

“Insults can be so creative,” sums up Elín, and Brynja adds, “We have 150 pages of them!”

Eat Frozen Sh*t! How to curse, swear, and talk trash in Icelandic is available in bookstores around Iceland and at the Grapevine store: shop.grapevine.is