Beer Ahoy! Colossal 78-Tap Keg Shipping Up To Bjórfestival

First the Americans brought us Costco, now the Maine Brewers’ Guild is sailing in a 40-foot beer container to Iceland.

If it was a Friday night at three in the morning, we would probably be hanging over a bar declaring our love for America in a big, embarrassing slur to a tired bartender by now. Then we would probably start bashing Trump, or American militarism, or how loud American tourists are (you know how it goes).

But it’s Thursday at noon, and sadly just another mundane day at the office. We are, however, feeling quite drunken in love with what might be the most beautiful exchange of fluids ever (after actual lovemaking, that is).

The Maine Brewers’ Guild has built a custom-made container—named The Maine Beer Box—which they’ve filled with 50 different types of brews from 40 different breweries. It’s been shipped all the way from the US to Iceland, in order to serve thirsty visitors of the local craft beer festival Bjórfestival, taking part June 24.

The container, designed as a giant ‘kegerator’, got an impressive 78 taps on its sides, which people can draw beer from, so there are pretty good opportunities to get all boozed-up. After the festival the container will in turn be filled with Icelandic beer, and shipped back to Maine and their Summer Session Craft Beer Festival. Jeez, if that’s not a heartwarming diplomatic exchange we don’t know what is.

By the way. If you’re struggling with getting used to the never ending daylight, studies show that a shot of beer can help decrease insomnia. So just imagine if you had 78! Some experts, however, claim that large amounts of alcohol consumption actually ruins your sleep. But in this age of fake news we know that the only experts are those you agree with.

Therefore, cancel all appointments, send the kids to an orphanage by the end of June and meet us at the Bjórfestival on Sundahöfn, we’ll be the ones chugging beer like we never seen a keg before. Which we actually haven’t—at least not this big.

So, here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

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