Piss Bandit Runs Amok At Vaunted Newspaper Office

Shockwaves have rocked the halls of Morgunblaðið, Iceland’s oldest continuously publishing newspaper, when it came to light that an unknown assailant or assailants were urinating in various trash cans in their offices.

Details are still cloudy at the time of this writing, but Vísir.is has confirmed that there is nothing wrong with the bathrooms at Morgunblaðið’s offices, and access to them is unrestricted.

Svanhvít Ljósbjörg Guðmundsdóttir, the human resources manager for Árvakur, the company which owns Morgunblaðið, was forced to release the following e-mail, with the subject line “Pissed in a trash can”:

Hi

As the subject of this email contends, someone has repeatedly pissed in a trash can on the ground floor.
There are countless toilets in the building, please use them

This e-mail was sent to all employees in the building. It has nonetheless not been ruled out that this may be the work of one or more guests to the building, although this is less likely.

On a completely unrelated note, the co-editor of Morgunblaðið is Davíð Oddsson, a former Central Bank manager who was also the founding father of the modern incarnation of the conservative Independence Party. Davíð has not publicly denied that he is behind the trash can micturitions.

The Morgunblaðið Piss Bandit remains at large at the time of this writing.