Survive Verslunarmannahelgi

This guide does not cover the basics. If you can’t remember to pack your sleeping bag or an extra pair of underwear, you shouldn’t go anywhere, anyway. For what we do have here: we cannot guarantee that it will prevent you from waking up in a pool of your own vomit, in fact we cannot guarantee anything. But here are some tips and trix for Verslunarmannahelgi anyway.

iPod:

If you think Icelanders go out ‘til ungodly hours on the weekends, just imagine what it’s like when you throw them into the countryside with the sole purpose of getting drunk. So if you’re expecting to get any sleep during the festivities, you’ll need a way to drown out those fuckers frolicking around your tent. This is where your iPod comes into use (you can also bring a Walkman or something, if you hate technology): shove it in your ear and listen to some soothing tones of whatever you like to fall asleep to.

Diaralyte: (The Ultimate Hangover Cure)

There is no spiritual or uniquely natural Icelandic remedy for a hangover (just one: more drinking). Looking at a pair of puffins mating is not going to make you feel less queasy. So before you throw yourself into a volcano from sheer pain, try dissolving a couple of sachets of Diaralyte in water (one before bed and one when you wake up). This shit’s like magic.

And it handily doubles up as a treatment for diarrhoea.

Pac-A-Mac:

A raincoat that you can roll into a matching bag. Things don’t get any simpler. Or uglier. This is something you may have branded as tourist-wear but it will undoubtedly come of use at some point. You may not look like the coolest kid on the campsite, heck, you’ll probably be laughed and pointed at.

But when your tormentors are all hospitalised with pneumonia, you’ll be the one laughing.

Toilet Roll:

You will need it.

Swiss Army Knife:

To cut stuff up, or to open bottles.

Duct tape:

To tape back together the stuff you cut up. And to close bottles.

Fanny pack:

Just like every other country inhabited by people, Iceland too sports its own brand of assholes that are more than eager to steal your belongings (although there are probably fewer, given the scarcity of people on the island). A fanny pack come in handy when keeping your money, valuables, Swiss Army knife and duct tape safe from folks that probably need them more than you.

Water Bottle/Flask:

You can use your flask to store water in when you aren’t thirsty. Then, when you get thirsty, you can drink the water. What a plan! What a plan!

Regular Condoms:

Icelanders keep forgetting these! It doesn’t matter how many TV commercials, radio adverts or shocking statistics are shoved down their throats, nothing seems to spur them into buying a pack of rubbers (let alone using them). So this time make sure to pack them in your bum bag, unless you want to bring back a permanent souvenir. Like Chlamydia.

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