Well, You Asked: Your Iceland Advice Questions Answered

Got a problem that needs solving, a burning issue that needs addressing, a matter that needs settling, or a thirst for awesome life advice? We at the Grapevine are here to help. It’s time for another edition of Well, You Asked.

Is Reykjavík safe? I don’t want to venture into any BAD neighbourhoods!
With a crime rate merely 291 times lower than Vatican City, it’s reasonable to be wary about crime in Iceland’s capital. Certainly in some of Reykjavík’s ghettoes you need to keep your wits about you. Recently some hapless tourists ventured into the dark underbelly of Reykjavík and actually tripped over a cat. Others have described seeing houses that Icelanders actually live in, rather than just Airbnbs. What a slum! Be careful out there, folks.

Recently, a friend of mine came out as cisgender. While I respect all gender identities, I do wonder if my friend is just trying to be cool and trendy, as it seems everyone is cis these days. Should I call them out?
Of course you should call them out. People only make changes as profound and life-changing as this to be cool and trendy, obvs. Have you tried asking if it’s just a phase? That normally works. Or just accept them for who they are—but whoever heard of that?

How do I become a Social Media influencer?
It’s actually not that hard. All you need to do is set up a sinisterly named transnational corporation which harvests user data on a sweeping and systematic scale and use this information to twist digital algorithms and spread politically extreme hate speech. Congratulations, you’re literally influencing Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and destroying the post-war economic consensus to boot. But if election manipulation isn’t quite your bag, you can keep tagging @hudabeauty in the hope that she will notice you among her 37.9 million followers, until the existential horror of your miserably warped societal priorities becomes too much, and you just go off and read a book.

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