Well, You Asked: Double Duvet Dilemmas

Have a tricky situation? Don’t worry, Grapevine’s advice column is here to help.

Why oh why do double duvets exist and how do couples manage to sleep while sharing one? I mean, come on, sufficiently tucking a duvet between your legs and being able to stretch out one leg from underneath EQUALLY ON BOTH sides is a must!

Ok so first of all, I am on your side. Sharing a double duvet with another human being is the WORST! But questioning their existence completely? Clearly, you have never enjoyed turning yourself into a human burrito in the snug warmth of a double duvet!

Is the sea a sentient being?

I reached out to the sea for a comment on this but all I got back was a small wave…

If the earth is flat where the hell is everything?

The Earth IS flat… but you have to remember it is still a disk and everything you know and love is where it always was.

Where is the disk you ask? It sits on the back of four giant elephants

Where are the elephants? They ride on a giant turtle flying through space!

What gender is the turtle? Nobody knows.

How do you apply to the BDSM scene? Asking for a friend.

Your “Friend” will, of course, need to go to the Þjóðskrá Íslands registry office and complete the relevant application forms. Your whips, chains and leather suit will arrive in the mail 3-6 months later along with your new BDSM identity card. Alternatively, you could make sure to be seen very publically reading 50 shades of grey and hope that someone takes you under their wing.