Are you reading this over an innocent cup of coffee? Well watch yourself—there is nothing innocent about it. Your very future is at stake.
According to Icelandic superstition, you need to drink your coffee in a meticulous manner lest you screw up your future for good. If you’re going to take your chances—I get it, we need our caffeine—then be sure to put the sugar in your coffee before the cream. Under no circumstances put the cream first! That will result that you will not get married for the next seven years.
And here’s some bad news for us (the ugly people): if you like your coffee hot you are in particular trouble. Drinking hot coffee will make you even uglier. Yeah. It’s a real thing. But if you want to become more beautiful, you need to drink it ice cold. I mean, let’s be honest, we do weirder things for the sake of our looks.
And now to the tricky part. If you, for some freakish reason, accidentally find two spoons in your cup, it could have devastating results, depending on your age and your marriage status. First, it could mean that you are going to have a party soon or you will be invited to one. Wait for it…but it could also mean that the party could be a baptism party (FML). Now, it could also mean that you will have twins within a year or you are secretly engaged.
And if your host or barista really hates you, they will give you a mismatching cup and saucer, which means that you will marry twice—or have an affair.
And now for the good news. If your coffee has bubbles, and you manage to sip them, you’re in luck, you will become filthy rich. And it never fails.
In short; drink tea, and treat people that try to give you coffee as mortal enemies hell-bent on destroying your life.
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