Published June 17, 2018
After Iceland’s notable entry the World Cup with a famous 1-1 draw with Argentina, interest on the team only intensified. If the world was watching before, they really are now: here’s what’s going on in the Iceland World Cup camp.
Hero Hannes gives himself perfect climax to upcoming biopic
Hannes Halldórsson gave himself some stellar material in the biopic he will undoubtedly direct, produce and star in once the World Cup is over. “The Auteur of Pain” mentally ended Lionel Messi in yesterday’s battle with Argentina when he batted away the GOAT’s limp spot-kick in the 64th minute, securing a well-earned draw for our boys. After the game, Hannes was reportedly straight on the phone to Oscar Isaac, who he thinks would be perfect for the role of Leo, while he’s lining up Sverrir Páll Guðnason to play Heimir. Maradona has already expressed an interest in playing himself after blowing his wad on Charlie and cigars.
“The Siren” goes insta-viral
Rúrik Gíslason’s Instagram followers have soared from 30,000 to 267,000 in the last 24 hours after his mesmeric looks caught the eyes of the world. The 66° North model was introduced 18 minutes into the second half and has been inundated with Spanish-language comments on his posts ever since; the ones in which he is topless proving particularly popular. Now, I don’t speak Spanish, but I’m not sure “te amo” translates into English as, “your surging runs, high pressing and full blooded-tackles were an excellent contribution to our boys in the second half. Well played.”
Iceland naysayers obliterated by general public
One man on Twitter became the voice of a nation after our boys’ style was criticised by football snobs. @Antonstotle wrote: “Seeing people calling Iceland boring and defensive as if that’s something we’re choosing to do. Our [goalkeeper] is a film director, our [right-back] has a day job making salt and got time off work to play at the World Cup. If you can’t be happy for us, go jump in the fucking ocean.” Anton’s musings received 117,000 favourites, slightly more than a third of Iceland’s whole population. Long live the defensive block.
President and PM celebrate at home following Russia boycott
Iceland’s Prime Minister Katrín Jakobsdóttir and President Guðni Thorlacius Jóhannesson watched on at home as our boys made history yesterday at the Spartak Stadium. Their absence from the host country follows Iceland’s decision to join an international response to penalise the Kremlin after it was linked to the March poisoning of former Russian spy Sergei Skripal in Salisbury. That didn’t stop both dignitaries from getting caught up in the action and both can be seen beaming in disbelieving joy after *that* save from Hannes on Katrín’s personal Twitter account.
Iceland’s women aiming to #SmiteTheWorld
Icelandic football is soaring across the board and the women’s team look set to continue the smiting at the 2019 World Cup in France. Our girls currently top their qualification group, one point ahead of two-time champions Germany after a brace from Glódís Perla Viggósdóttir secured a 2-0 win over Slovenia on June 11th. In their next game on September 1st , they come up against the Germans in the likely group decider, with a win guaranteeing qualification. In our minds, there is no doubt that they will replicate their 2-3 away win in October and collect plenty of bratwursty tears.
Mourinho gushes about Icelandic diet
José Mourinho has become the first person ever to praise the Icelandic diet in an interview with Russia Today, for whom he is working as a World Cup pundit. The Manchester United manager told the state broadcaster: “I think these boys from Iceland … since they were babies they were eating a lot of meat on breakfast, immediately. All of them are very, very strong, very, very fit and the football they play is perfectly adapted to the way they are.” All of that Hákarl is clearly doing the business, lads. Keep it up.