From Iceland — Praise Óðinn! Gylfi Out For 6-8 Weeks, Iceland's World Cup-Winning Destiny Back On Track

Praise Óðinn! Gylfi Out For 6-8 Weeks, Iceland’s World Cup-Winning Destiny Back On Track

Published March 14, 2018

Iceland’s midfield maestro Gylfi Sigurðsson has been examined by a specialist after his weekend knee injury playing for Everton in England’s Premier League.

One of the national team’s smiters-in-chief, “The Viking Virtuoso” is an essential component of the Icelandic horde, pinging in corners and crosses, and creating forward momentum with his intelligent attacking play.

Everton issued the following statement about his condition: “Following consultation with a specialist, it is anticipated that Gylfi Sigurdsson’s knee injury, sustained in Saturday’s Premier League win over Brighton, will keep him sidelined for between six and eight weeks. We’ll continue to assess Gylfi’s progress on a week-to-week basis and the medical team will work very closely with him, as they would with any injured player, to get him back playing as quickly as possible.”

Strange goings on

It is almost exactly eight weeks to the start of the World Cup tournament in Russia, leading to speculation about the nature of Gylfi’s eerily fortuitous healing time. Rumours abound that when Everton talk about “specialists,” they are in fact referring to Solla The Strange, the powerful Icelandic witch who lives in the foothills of the Langjökull glacier, and has been known to make chillingly accurate footballing predictions.

Solla has not been sighted in the Borgarfjörður region since Sunday, prompting murmurs that Everton may have flown her in to Liverpool to carry out one of her famous runic healing rituals.

Rune magic for all

You can help too. Our research indicates that the rune below has significant powers in encouraging healing, strength and resilience. Feel free to scratch it into birchwood trees, draw it onto pictures of Gylfi, tattoo it onto your knees, and so forth. If you do engage in some Viking rune magic, send us a photo of your work at grapevine@grapevine.is. The most powerful rune will receive a prize.

With the combined runic offerings of Iceland’s ever-growing horde of international supporters, we hope to see Gylfi back at his fearsome, foaming, berserk smiting best before the summer.

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