Last Words: May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour

As Pride rolls out it’s time to share with you the most common question I get asked by other foreigners visiting Iceland. No, not the age-old, “Why did you move to Iceland?” question. For that, there’s a TedX Talk you can watch. I’m talking about the one question I get asked almost on a daily basis, especially by visiting Kweens (a term I use for gay tourists): “What’s it actually like as a gay man living here?”

Well, get ready, cause imma bout to get real up in hurr ok (insert tongue pop).

Gay life in Iceland is small, really small. It’s estimated that only two percent of a developed country’s population are men that identify as gay, so that leaves about 6000 dudes here, who’re all scrambling to get a piece of a tiny pie. I’ve often said in my stand up that it’s a bit like ‘The Hunger Games.’ Once a month we line up outside Kiki, and then we fight to the death, and the last two survivors get to have sex with each other. Iceland is often painted as a utopia for gay people, with no discrimination and Kit Kats for all. In a lot of ways it is, but like any developed country, we have our issues.

With the constant rotation of tourists in and out of the country here, dating can be a bit like eating at a sushi train. That feeling when you see a perfectly fine plate in front of you, but you hold out just to see if something better comes along. There are happy gays here, but there are also venomous little dwarves waiting to sink their teeth into new flesh. It’s a country just like any other.