SEND IN THE CLOWNS

“I am appalled and dismayed,” Genevieve de Fontenay told reporters.

This de Fontenay character takes his beauty pageants seriously. Too bad he wasn’t running this year’s Miss Reykjavik, a disaster of epic proportions.

Held on April 15th at the tacky club Broadway (change the venue, please!), the Miss Reykjavik pageant started badly with an out-of-sync dance number that saw the girls dressed in gaudy spandex aerobic outfits, making them look like extras from the awful 1980’s film Perfect, starring John Travolta (pre-comeback) and Jamie Lee Curtis. It was a display that “disappointed” the talented choreographer of the show, who later confessed to me that she had no idea what happened.

“They were so good in rehearsal,” she lamented.
The contest quickly spiralled out of control when Sigrún Bender, last year’s Miss Reykjavik, slipped, nearly falling flat on her face as she paraded onto the stage.

It got worse. The crowning moment (literally) came when Unnur Birna Vilhjálmsdóttir, the only contestant that truly sparkled, was crowned Miss Reykjavik. The diehards still tuned in at this point, mostly the contestant’s relatives, nearly passed out as Ms. Bender fumbled for an agonizingly couple of minutes while trying to bobby pin the shinny crown to the winner’s flowing black hair. I can only imagine what was going through Ms. Vilhjálmsdóttir’s mind at that awkward moment?

“Your reign is over, bitch. Crown me already.”

After watching Miss Reykjavik, I’m convinced that beauty contests should go the way of the dodo bird.

Disagree? Then I ask you: When’s the last time you saw a young women walking on a sandy beach in a skimpy bathing suit and high heels?