Thrifted, Bought, Stolen: The Halloween costume advice you seek is here

Witches cackle as they exchange snus on the corner of Hverfisgata. A werewolf tries to charm the sexy nun under the light of the full moon. The cops are trying to round up a rowdy pair of undead who had one too many to drink. You look at yourself: simple and human. Halloween is upon you and you are vastly underdressed.

It can be tough to try to blend in with all the vampires and ghouls on All Hallow’s Eve, especially with costume-making being such a difficult task. There’s face paint, clothing, accessories and budget to consider. It’s all just so overwhelming.

But not to worry, I am here to help.

Strangers often tell me I look “positively horrendous” so I must know a thing or two about being scary. And I shall impart my wisdom unto you, so that you may be properly dressed for the coming ritual that is Halloween.

Party stores! There are a few in Reykjavik, including Hókus Pókus downtown and Partýbúðin in Skeifan. If you need cheap plastic to wrap your precious body in, discount-grade sexy cat costumes (for all genders), or bucketloads of face paint, these are the places to be. Most of the costumes are serviceable and you can hypothetically find the one nice mask that has a chance to please the Dark Lord. It is important to keep in mind, however, that Reykjavík is not a big place. This means the choices of costume are often limited to 80s slasher knockoffs and Spiderman tights engineered to give you rashes. But hey, the Unspoken One loves a sexy zombie costume (also for all genders).

Thrifting! If you’re being spooky on a budget and want something you can actually use more than once a year, you can always scour second-hand stores. There are plenty dotting Laugavegur, so just start at the Red Cross and work your way up. Now it can be tempting to buy whatever fits, but remember that a horrid fashion sense does not equal a horrifying costume. Sometimes a “vibe” is all you need. Dress a little more goth, ask your hot friend for fashion tips and just say you’re a long-lost cousin from the Addams family – the Shadow Sultan will not know the difference.

Fashionable Stores! If you’ve got a heaping wad of cash (or a penchant for kleptomania) you can always source a costume at high-end boutiques. Just head on down to Kjólar & Konfekt, Rokk & Rómantík, or that one tweed place that reminds me of the Kingsman movies and you’ll never be lumped in with the common Halloween riffraff again. No more tights and plastic when you can afford (*cough* steal) actual cloth! These places are perfect if you want to make a statement, resemble a murder mystery victim and be absolutely overdressed for whatever event you attend, especially if you attend the ritual.

For on the 31st of October, the denizens of this fair island, led by a great masked prophet, will gather by Harpa, where the forgotten body of the ancient Cctiza lies sleeping just below its twisted glass walls. Dressed in our thrifted, bought, stolen and immaculate costumes we will enact the ritual to awaken Him from His venerable slumber. They who have the spookiest of outfits, the creepiest of costumes and the most alarming of attires will be disemboweled with our runic blade. With this sacrifice, Cctiza will awaken and bring forth the Halloween spirit to us all.

That is not dead which can eternal buy – with strange costumes, even you may look fly.