Help? Call Charlie! Swans, Appelsín, And Mirrors

When you dream, make sure to dream big! Cause dreams can often become reality. Not mine, though, only my nightmares are here with me…  I can smell them.

Seeking advice about the future? Problems with lovers? Just have something you need to get off your chest? Call Charlie!

Ian asks: Would I lose a fight to one of the swans at Tjörnin?

Ian, they would kill you where you stand. Swans are vicious, cruel, and sick predators who survive only by culling those they deem weak. The swans at Tjörnin, though, are far worse, for they’ve tasted both blood and Collab. They know what it is to have a Hopp scooter rammed into their homes. They have seen things we cannot imagine. Please, Ian, don’t do this. It’s not worth it.

Kelly asks: Do penguins have knees?

Not for long, if I have anything to say about it.

Bart asks: Do swans kill penguins with their knees?

Swans’ knees are actually tucked up quite far into their feathers; as such, when you see the “knee,” it’s actually the swan’s ankle joint! So probably not, but still pretty cool.

Luke asks: How many swans would it take to knee an emperor penguin?

What is happening right now?! What’s with all the goddamn knee questions today? Um, four of them, I guess?

Eric asks: What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?

AAAAAAAAAAH!

Jessica asks: How can I, as a new Icelandic citizen, start a business, fail spectacularly at running it, get bailed out by the government, and then start over on a brand new kennitala while retaining my wealth?

Sadly, this isn’t possible, Jessica. Don’t get me wrong! You absolutely can fail at a business and get bailed out by the government. But, a new kennitala? A kennitala is much like the true name of a fae or demon. When assigned, it twists the owner’s very being and grants one power over you. To know it means to have dominion. To invoke the name of Baphomet in the ancient tongue is the same as speaking those 10 digits out loud. Even if you change it, it will always be a part of you, Jessica.

Jessica… you cannot cleanse the rot… you cannot run from who you are. Jessica, I know you.

David asks: Why can’t you buy appelsin in the UK?

It is pronounced Aappelseen, and to be seen is to be loved. And the UK does not love.
Alternatively: Cod War mention. Let’s go Cod War. Cod of duty, black cods. Special forces. Fish.
Alternatively, No. 2: IceSave 2008 financial crash. They burned the Appelsín with the flags.
Alternatively, No. 3: A personal vendetta against you, David.

May asks: When you look in a mirror, left and right are reversed, but not up and down! Explain??

Good question, May! Frankly, you’ve got me stumped. Been staring at my mirror for four days trying to figure it out. I’ll go do a handstand and then get back to you on this issue. Hopefully, we’ll find something useful to the scientific community.

That’s all the time we have today, and frankly, I knee-d a break. If you have any more burning, yearning, churning questions, follow our Grapevine Facebook and Instagram pages and keep an eye out for the Q&A post!

Bless Bless

Love Charlie

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