The Icelandic campaign to fight toxic masculinity has received a lively response from men recounting times gender norms hindered or harmed them in their daily lives. These testimonials range from the light-hearted to tragic, but all share one common theme: how what it means to be “a real man” made life more difficult for men.
As reported, Icelander Þorsteinn V. Einarsson started the campaign after getting the idea from noted Icelandic feminist Sóley Tómasdóttir. With the MeToo campaign in full swing, numerous feminists have pointed out that stemming abusive behaviour is not solely a matter of women speaking up – men need to fix themselves, too. Using the hashtag #karlmennskan (literally, “masculinity”), Icelandic men on social media have been actively responding to the campaign.
Here’s a how just a few of these many men have responded, as translated by writer and Grapevine contributor Nanna Árnadóttir:
“After a miscarriage I started going for car rides alone to cry. I just needed to let the grief break through. Couldn’t let anyone see me cry though, because of #masculinity” #karlmennskan pic.twitter.com/n5A8d1i5Oq
— Nanna Árnadóttir (@NannaArnadottir) March 15, 2018
“In January I opened up about being the victim of a hate crime. My groin was trampled because I’m gay. Afterwards people told me to stop whining like a bitch. That I should have manned up and just punched the other guy like a real man.” #masculinity #karlmennskan pic.twitter.com/rphxHg565A
— Nanna Árnadóttir (@NannaArnadottir) March 15, 2018
“When my son was six he made me a beautiful beaded bracelet. I wore it to work the following day (where my coworkers were 99% men). I was asked if I was transitioning into a woman #masculinity #karlmennskan pic.twitter.com/SUWUhUpN4T
— Nanna Árnadóttir (@NannaArnadottir) March 15, 2018
“I think Baileys is ridiculously good. Never order it in the bar though because of #masculinity” #karlmennskan pic.twitter.com/HcNxVCPYNM
— Nanna Árnadóttir (@NannaArnadottir) March 15, 2018
“I suffered a blood clot while abroad and ended up in the hospital. I didn’t want to talk to my wife and children on the phone until I was sure I wouldn’t cry. Three days later.” #masculinity #karlmennskan pic.twitter.com/M1QZcnyjnA
— Nanna Árnadóttir (@NannaArnadottir) March 15, 2018
Icelandic men have been expressing gratitude for the campaign, saying that it has finally given them a chance to challenge gender norms, and to undo their own conditioned behaviours. For example:
Mamma lést þegar ég var 16 ára eftir 8 ára baráttu við MND taugalömun. Ég grét ekki og mætti í vinnuna daginn eftir. Tók mig 10 ár að opna sárin og syrgja hana. Hef ekki getað gert það síðan. Nú eru 20 ár liðin og þökk sé #karlmennskan geri ég það í dag!
— Einar Þór Gústafsson (@einargustafsson) March 16, 2018
“My mother died when I was 16 years old, after an eight-year fight with Motor Neurone Disease,” Einar Þór Gústafsson tweets. “I didn’t cry, and showed up for work the next day. Took me ten years to open the wound and grieve for her. Haven’t done it since. Twenty years later, thanks to #karlmennskan I did that today!”
As previously reported, there is no rule saying that you can only write in Icelandic for this hashtag, so men of all languages are encouraged to take part in using the #karlmennskan hashtag on Twitter and Facebook.
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