Mag
Editorial
The Break-Up

The Break-Up

Published January 26, 2009

Dear Geir:

Our relationship, I’m afraid to say, has run its course. I guess I’m partially to blame. Maybe I should have gotten to know you better before I asked you to move in. But you’re the type I’ve always dated, and you seemed like the safe choice, even if not particularly exciting.

It wasn’t long after you moved in, though, that I started to regret it. You rearranged the furniture without asking me, and even sold a number of pieces off to your friends. I wasn’t happy, as you know, but you assured me it would make the place more livable. Sure, I thought, let’s give it a try. But then the housekeeping got out of control. It seemed like I was perpetually cleaning up after you. And then the utility bills came.

Good Lord, Geir. These bills are through the roof. It’ll be years before I manage to pay them off, and it looks like I’m going to have to take out a pretty hefty loan just to put a dent in them. Imagine my surprise when I read my bank statement and found out I’m broke. All my savings, gone. Where did all that money go, anyway? What were you thinking? That I wouldn’t notice? Yeah, I know – it’s not your fault, you said. It’s never your fault though, is it? It’d be nice if you’d own up to your mistakes.

You should know my friends think I’m nuts to have stayed with you this long. I know they all laugh at me behind my back. They think I’m some kind of pushover who’ll put up with pretty much anything. Well, I’m not a pushover. I’m ending this, Geir. I’m sorry. You’re a nice guy and all, but it’s just not working. I realize that now. It’s not me; it’s you. Maybe some time later on – much, much later on – we can hang out or whatever. But I think it’s best for both of us if you move out. Today. This afternoon, actually. Just leave your key under the mat.

I wish you the best of luck. And I hope some day you can look back on this and learn from it. I hope you learn something about trust when it comes to relationships.

Respectfully,
Guðrún

Dear Guðrún:

First of all, thanks for letting me know how you feel. I honestly had no idea. And I respect what you have to say. But I don’t think now is the time for us to break up.

I know the situation with the bills looks pretty bleak. But really, who else can take care of them? We’ve been living together for over a year now. I think that qualifies me to know what’s best for our home, don’t you? I mean, who else is going to replace me?

No, only I can be your boyfriend. If you think about it, you’d actually be worse off without me. Let’s be reasonable. Let’s give this a few years. Then sure, we can talk about the possibility of maybe breaking up. But for now I think we should, no, MUST stay together. Therefore I must respectfully decline your request to end our relationship. Once you’ve calmed down, I know you’ll see I’m right.

Hugs and Kisses,

Geir

Geir:

What on earth are you talking about? Did you read a word I said? It’s over. Are you forgetting who’s name is on the lease?
Seriously, pack your things. There’s nothing else to discuss here.

Let me put it this way: if you’re not gone by the end of the afternoon, I will physically remove you from the premises. Don’t make this get ugly.

Guðrún

Guðrún:

Come on. We were made for each other. Just think it over.

Please, listen: you’ll never have another boyfriend like me. Who understands you as well as I do? You complete me.

OK, I see you’re standing out on the street throwing eggs at the window. You’ve gotten your friends chanting slogans at me. Wow, real mature there. Way to go. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Is this the way grown-ups work out their differences?

You know what? I don’t need this. I’m outta here. But just remember that this was YOUR fault. You drove me away. Don’t come crying to me when you can’t stand life without me. I know you’ll never forget me. And you know it, too.

So I wasn’t that great with the housekeeping. So the bills got an eensy bit out of control. Is that really my fault? Come on.
Yours always,

Geir
PS: Seriously, though, call me whenever. I expect to be single for a long time.


Mag
Editorial
We Care A Lot

We Care A Lot

by

Hey, check out the above photo. Who are those people? I’ll tell you: I’m in there, along with our designer Hrefna, along with our former interns Parker and Rebecca (currently visiting from abroad to do some writing), along with our current interns Tom and Saskia and Elín and Melissa, along with our listings editor Gabríel, along with our journalist John, along with the ghost of what should’ve been (always lurking in the background, him). Behind the camera is the lovely photographer Matt Eisman, who set up shop at our office over Airwaves, where he’ll be shooting some of our favourite

Mag
Editorial
So Long, And Thanks For All The Cheese!

So Long, And Thanks For All The Cheese!

by

For someone who is used to having an entire aisle at their disposal when they run out of toothpaste, Icelandic grocery stores can seem, shall we say, a little mundane. Of course when it comes to toothpaste, all that choice is perhaps excessive. Ever since I started spending considerable amounts of time in Iceland, this ‘paradox of choice,’ and what it might mean, has been on my mind. As I noted in my 27th editorial a few years back: there’s Crest, there’s Colgate, there’s All-Natural, there’s Aquafresh, there’s Arm & Hammer, there’s Oral B, there’s Sensodyne, there’s Mentadent. There’s gel.

Mag
Editorial
You Probably Just Want To Read About The Eruption, Huh?

You Probably Just Want To Read About The Eruption, Huh?

by

The biggest news from Iceland these days is undoubtedly the eruption. Of course it’s not everyday that a volcano erupts. But it’s hardly a once-in-a-lifetime event either. Holuhraun is actually the fourth Icelandic volcano to erupt in the last four years, and it’s been hurling lava for nearly a month now. Sprawled across three seats on a half-empty flight back to Iceland shortly after the latest eruption began, I found myself wondering if it was an unusually slow day for travel or if the eruption was scaring people off. The Eyjafjallajökull eruption certainly showed the world that our volcanoes are

Mag
Editorial
Halló, I’m Back!

Halló, I’m Back!

by

I went on a vacation last month. It was wonderful. I left the country. I spent very little time sitting behind a computer. I stopped following Icelandic news. I browsed our website and Facebook a few times. It was really wonderful. I tuned out (and all but turned on, tuned in, dropped out). To say that nothing much happened while I was gone would be an understatement. The Icelandic media seems to be in shambles (turn to page 16 for the scoop on that). The office ate Thai food last print week (we usually subsist on burgers and pizza). They

Mag
Editorial
Free Pink Street Boys Album! Free Editorial! Free Love!

Free Pink Street Boys Album! Free Editorial! Free Love!

by

Here is a short editorial, inspired by the late, great Bill Gates and his vision, which continues to warm our hearts and our thighs through our pockets, via sturdy, glowing Gorilla Glass: Here’s to the volcanos. The eruptions. The shaking moneymakers. The ones who remind the world that, yes, we exist. While some may see them as extremely dangerous and not to be trifled with, we see them as tremendous opportunities for market expansion, advanced brand awareness building and vast merchandizing profits. Because the people who are arrogant enough to shamelessly exploit potentially catastrophic events, are the ones who make bank.

Mag
Editorial
I CHOOSE TREASON

I CHOOSE TREASON

by

I just signed up to become a founding member of Fylkisflokkurinn (“The County-Party”), which has the stated purpose and sole platform of campaigning for Iceland to re-join Norway and become its twentieth county. I was the 573rd Icelander to do so according to the would-be political party’s website (fylkisflokkurinn.is), while the Facebook group that launched it currently lists over 4,600 members (many of them very enthusiastic!) and counting. Proponents of Iceland’s independence might call me a traitor to the country that bore me—they might even go so far as to accuse me of treason. And I won’t lie: I felt

Show Me More!