A Grapevine service announcement Pay attention: Holuhraun, still spewing lava. Bárðarbunga, still sinking.
Mag
Articles
Please Yourself with an Elf

Please Yourself with an Elf

Words by

Published August 15, 2008

Elves are hard to find, but a few years ago elves found Hallgerður
Hallgrímsdóttir. These encounters led to some of the most wonderful
sexual experiences of her life. Keen to share her experiences, her book
‘Please yoursELF-Sex with the Icelandic Invisibles’ has made her the
leading authority on the mystic art of elf sex – the Grapevine
investigates.

Surveys have shown that ten percent of Icelanders believe in the existence of “huldufólk” (the hidden people), dwarfs, spirits and other supernatural beings. Ten percent deny it, but the remaining eighty still refuse to rule out their existence.

Natives to Iceland, elves are very limber, light and strong which makes them excellent sexual partners. Unlike humans, elves have the ability to open up other worlds of sexual encounters. Although Hallgerður does not think they possess supernatural powers, she is sure that having sex with one is magical. “They can do stuff you would never imagine, and also have the imagination to think of things you never would,” Hallgerdur divulges. Grapevine finds this surprising, considering that elves are generally small and skinny in physical stature. But, as the saying goes, size does not matter and according to Hallgerður, half the magic lies in the way they use their tongues. Also, it seems the myths of elves ‘eating people’ may have been slightly misconstrued, as it is far less physically harmful and much dirtier then Hans Grimm ever divulged.

Although she has been sexually cavorting in this world for years, Hallgerður is not monogamous with these elves, and has never been in a serious relationship with one. She also cannot fully detail how long these encounters last; bedded in soft moss with a supernatural being by her side (or some other position entirely) seems to blur the time space continuum. Grapevine asked if filming these encounters would be allowed (for journalistic purposes, of course), but unfortunately it seems elves are very excited about ‘electrical devices’ and are prone to steal them or use them (we did not ask on what).

To those who wish to try and catch themselves an elfish encounter, be warned – elves are shy so Hallgerður’s book recommends secluded places. They would love to have more people wandering around the Icelandic countryside and for those unsure about dabbling in the world of elven pleasure, other benefits include no-strings-attached, stress-free sexual encounters and no one seeing you performing the walk of shame through the forest in the morning.

‘Please yoursELF-Sex with the Icelandic Invisibles’ by Hallgerður Hallgrímsdóttir is available from www.anobii.com.



Mag
Articles
<?php the_title(); ?>

Holuhraun Continues To Erupt

by

It’s been almost a month since the Holuhraun eruption started, and there doesn’t seem to be any indication of it stopping soon. Meanwhile, the Bárðarbunga caldera continues to subside, which means that it must still be feeding magma to the Holuhraun eruptive fissure. The surrounding area is still closed to the public (sorry!) due to high concentrations of poison gas and the continuing risk of flooding. In the last two weeks there has been quite a bit of air pollution (mostly sulphur dioxide, the one that smells like rotten eggs) due to gas emanating from the eruptive fissure. Daily forecasts

Mag
Articles
<?php the_title(); ?>

Which Way 
The Wind Blows

by

“This is what we call a ‘washing board,’” our guide Kormákur Hermannsson says, his voice barely intelligible as we jostle violently on the bumpy mountain road. Indeed it feels like we are driving over one. It’s been nine hours since we set off from Reykjavík to see the Holuhraun eruption in Iceland’s remote highlands, and we are shaking. To our right, the sun is a blinding red ball peeking out from behind the clouds. Mount Herðubreið looms over an orange haze that blankets the horizon. We are still a few hours away from the eruption, yet its presence is unmistakeable.

Mag
Articles
<?php the_title(); ?>

One Man’s Miracle

by

Möðrudalur, one of the most isolated farms in Iceland, lies under the icy nipple of Mt. Herðubreið in the northeastern part of the island.  In 1919, a man named Jón Stefánsson bought Möðrudalur from one of his brothers.  Jón was a saddler and harness maker by trade. He was also an accomplished musician. At night he’d sit at his organ, and the echo of Bach sonatas, which he’d play backwards note for note, would sweep over Möðrudalur’s lava and empty sands. Jón was, to put it mildly, an eccentric. He’d wake up at 4am and get the farm labourers working

Mag
Articles
<?php the_title(); ?>

Mexicans: They’re Everywhere!

by

When I began my search for Mexicans in Iceland, I was prepared to hear fantastic stories about cultural polarity. And that’s exactly what I got. From tiny Vopnafjörður we travel to the centre of it all, Reykjavík. This is the story of Rodrigo Aparicio, who found a second home in Iceland. What does “exotic” mean? For many, Mexico—with its countless ecosystems, dialects, blue shores, sandy beaches, archaeological sites and colonial cities—fits the bill perfectly. To Mexicans, “exotic” is perhaps the type of place where you’ll experience midnight sun and the Northern Lights, where folks aren’t coy about the human body,

Mag
Articles
<?php the_title(); ?>

Höfði-San: Shrimp Salesman Built A Replica Of A Reykjavík Landmark

by

Iceland became the focus of world attention when US President Ronald Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev met in Reykjavík in October 1986 to discuss nuclear disarmament. The powerful couple met at Höfði, a small villa on Borgartún, the street where the ghosts of the fallen Icelandic banking system roam today. Many of the banks had headquarters and offices on this street, which lies only a kilometre or so away from the city centre. Before the international financial crisis obliterated the overweight Icelandic finance industry, the bankers wanted to build huge towers and other mega structures in the area, which

Mag
Articles
<?php the_title(); ?>

Independence Is Not A Disaster:

by

After decades of discussion on the political and economic details of a theoretically independent Scotland, the Scottish citizens finally face the vote that could bring this country into reality. The vote on the Scottish Independence Referendum Bill, asking “Should Scotland be an independent country?” will take place this Thursday, September 18, 2014. “We have a shared interest” As part of the discourse on their potential independence, Scottish political leaders are looking to the Nordic countries as models in developing their social and economic policies. In addition to potentially modelling welfare and taxation on Nordic systems, other involvement ranges from applying

Show Me More!