Words by

York Underwood

Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson, Former Prime Minister

The Grapevine has always been the sole media outlet in Iceland that stands against tyranny and oppression. We are a brave candle in this dark, dark land, illuminating and warming all who read our pages. Whether it’s a thought-provoking 600-word analysis of a public swimming facility or courageously being the only listing service that warns you which troubadour is where, at what time and on what day, the Grapevine is here to set things straight. Some would call us heroes, but we don’t believe in titles—except the ones we give.

The Reykjavík Grapevine’s “Person Of The Year Award” goes to the former Prime Minister of Iceland, Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson.

We are here to make right a horrible injustice that has taken place, no doubt as the result of a secret anti-Sigmundur cabal within the walls of Iceland’s national broadcaster, RÚV. He was denied the RÚV’s Person Of The Year Award because RÚV doesn’t value a diversity of voices, in this case the voices of a vote-bot service with IP addresses located in Bangladesh. Only votes from actual tax-paying humans in Iceland count? More monocultural nationalism for Sigmundur to fight against!

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Sigmundur made international headlines for his staunch belief in a global community. He doesn’t even like to keep his money in Iceland, which, when you consider the taxes in this country, makes sense. But when Icelandic banks needed money to lend, he had no problem using his offshore account money, so long as he was guaranteed he would be paid back, supporting legislation to make that a reality. This is a politician, a philanthropist and a savvy businessman wrapped in one hauntingly child-like physique.

Other news sources might be tempted to say: On April the 3rd 2016 the Icelandic nation watched in horror as the George Soros-sponsored interviewer and most Swedish Swede in history, Sven Bergmann, asked Sigmundur the now infamous question: “Mr. Prime Minister, what can you tell me about a company called Wintris?” Two days later, Sigmundur resigned, following the largest protest in Iceland’s history.

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What they won’t say is it was unseasonably warm and sunny that day. Was it really a protest or were people just out enjoying the sunshine and taking a recreational stroll from the houses Sigmundur Davíð saved for them? Think about it: If Icelanders were really that pissed off about politicians having offshore accounts, why would a plurality of the country vote for the Independence Party?

Anyway, what could Sigmundur Davíð tell the George Soros-lab-created clone interviewer Sven Bergmann about a company called “Wintris”? The letter “W” isn’t in the Icelandic alphabet and as anyone learning a language knows it’s hard to explain something that you’ve never seen. He doesn’t have time to keep track of everything. He’s a busy man. He’s lucky if he can get both shoes on in the morning.

All he did was sign something that moved 1.2 billion ISK into an offshore account in the British Virgin Islands. Can you truly blame a man for wanting to help his wife save some of the inheritance she so bravely sued her family to obtain?

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Sigmundur Davíð, you make everything more interesting and awkward. You’re one of the four most popular things on our website, with the others being the national football team, volcanic eruptions, and reminders that “No, the government will not pay you to marry an Icelander.” Some might say you’ve hit a slump, resigning as Prime Minister and losing the leadership of your party, but we haven’t lost faith. You’re fearless and delusionally persistent. If anyone can pull off a surprise comeback, it’s you.

Takk fyrir síðast.