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TWENTY MEN AND A MOUSTACHE

TWENTY MEN AND A MOUSTACHE

Published July 23, 2004

The competition has been appropriately named after Tom Selleck who had the title role in TV series “Magnum, P.I” for eight years (a whopping 164 episodes) in addition to having starred in numerous films, including the All-American classic “Three Men and a Baby” (actually a remake of a French film -ed.) as well as the lesser known “Daughters of Satan.” One could say that mister Selleck is a noteworthy actor, a Hollywood staple, but more famous than his performances is most likely his well-proportioned moustache that crowns his irresistable smile.
To the question of why Tom Selleck’s moustache was chosen as a rolemodel moustache for the competitors, the answer is both complicated and simple at the same time. How many other famous people (Adolf Hitler aside) can you name who have carried their moustache with pride throughout the years and made it their trademark?
So the competitors of the Tom Selleck competition were striving for the the laid back masculinity of a well-groomed moustache, together with the right attitude. The rules of the competition were not strict, genders were not tested and alcohol usage was not prohibited (if anything, it was encouraged). The competition, hosted by a puppet, saw each one of the twenty competitors descend a flight of stairs, grab a pint of beer and walk back up again. The competitors found plenty of room for improvisation in this seemingly simple task and each one had his own way of doing it. Some seemed so at ease in the competitive atmosphere one could have mistaken them for moustache competition professionals while others seemed shy and completed the task with minimum effort, quickly reaching for the beer waiting for them at the bar and sneaking right back upstairs. The ones who were more relaxed took their time and stripped off various items of clothing, teased the audience, posed for the cameras and flirted with the judges. After each one of the competitors had been given a chance to flaunt what they got, the jury took its time to mull over the twenty moustaches they had just seen in action.
“Does size matter?” was naturally the question on (and over) everybody’s lips. But there was no worry, for even the ones sporting a not-so-fully-developed moustache had their chance, as another title in addition to the Moustache of the Year was awarded – loosely translated as whiskers of the year. And as the competition was not solely about shape and size, but of overall performance, the most popular boy was chosen amongst the competitors and, judging by the audiences reactions, he was also a firm favourite within the crowd.
One might think that growing a moustache is simple and that winning such a competition is not hard. But it was obvious that this year the competition was tough and the winner had to have a few aces up his sleeve – one moustached fellow felt it was necessary to drop down his trousers while another took off his top, leaving little to the imagination (and one can only wonder if this was meant as a distraction from the main thing – the moustache). Some of the boys seemed to have well thought-out tactics to earn them the prestiged title – one even tried to earn extra points by being accompanied by two children (who were wearing matching outfits, of course.) The winning trick, though, seemed to be having a pulled-together look that even a Hawaiian private inspector could be proud of: the owner of the title “Moustache of the Year 2004” competed with style, wearing a pink t-shirt that perfectly matched his pink and bright medium-sized moustache. It seems as colour co-ordination together with a very Tom Selleck-y smile was the right choice for this eager moustache grower who had taken part in all the previous competitions and finally managed to nail down the title this year. Congratulations to mister Buckmaster, Moustache of the Year.


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